A Little Time to Think

So I have a week to get my head on straight. A week to make up my mind. A week to decide on my feelings. I still don’t have any idea what I’m going to do. Sock’s says; “Go for it!”. I will. But then I wonder if the whole thing just so happens to fall through…. Well we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Thursday, I have until Thursday. Then I’ll go back to spending extra time in front of the mirror in the morning. I know this really isn’t much, but you know when you are in the middle of it, it seems like it consumes your entire thought life. So wish me luck during this long week of mental turmoil.

Feelings Changed

So about the whole “how far do you let it go?” thing, well………. What happens when those feelings have changed? Have they only changed because the person likes you, and it’s easy to like someone who likes you back? Or, have they changed because you have gotten to really know the person. What do you do? I find that once you stop liking guy the more you can actually get to know who they really are, not the person you have painted them to be. (Yes, I know I just now figured that out.) So what should I do? I actually can talk myself out of liking a guy if I really want to, ( a trait that Socks and I both share. ) but…then you lose the little things that happen while your flirting. Like I’ve said before, there is something to those casually significant conversations. Well for me there is. So truthfully, and back to my original point; my feelings have changed. How I don’t know. All I need to do is figure out what I’m going to do. Easier said then done

How Far?

The feeling of being liked is good one. Not the one, where you know people like to be around you. But the one where “one" individual harbors affection for you. You feel like you’ve got it all. I know there are the times when that kind of affection is unwanted. Trust me I’ve been there! But, what about the times when you don’t mind the flirting and casually significant conversations. Is it right to lead them on just because you like the feeling? How far do you let it go?

Tolerance

What to do when faced with a situation, in which, no matter how much you want to speak, you must remain silent? In this particular scenario, (hypothetically, of course.) you don’t like the way in which you mother is acting. What can you actually do? On one hand you could tell your mother how you feel about her actions. However, she may think; a) you are overreacting, or b) that it’s none of you damn business how she lives her life. With either option, she isn’t listening to how you feel, how you are handling it, how you view the situation. Sometimes there are the occasional realizations, on the mother’s behalf, that she is wrong. But for my and others these are occasions few and far between. In the end we just tolerate the instances that make us which we had no mother. Yet I wonder, are we helping those we love by staying silent, merely tolerating their existence, because we fell that our hands are tied.

Socks

My baby cousin and bestest friend. Even though she’s one and a half years younger, her maturity and intelligence is up to par with mine. ( I wonder if she’ll take that as a compliment or insult?) Well, matuity seem to disappear for both of us whenever we are together. As much as I give her a hard time for being an only child, she “amazingly” is extremely well rounded. Not only is she talented and creative, she is beautiful. While at time she doesn’t believe it, I envy her get up and go glamour. More importantly though, is her inner beauty. She has a hear of gold, and never gives up. Her perseverance and optimism has gotten us though so many scrapes, I thank her that I have remained, almost completely sane. (She may beg to differ on that one.)

Miles

My brother, and completely loony. I try to claim no relation to him, but I have found it easier and less painful on my nerves to accept him as my brother. After all, admittance is the firs step on the road to recovery! And recover I must. Miles used to be the brave one socially, however now our roles have reversed. I am the one who orders for us at restaurant, and ask for directions. Sill, he is the clown of the family, everyone knows that the moment he walks on the room you can expect to laugh. We used to get along great , but then things changed. I grew up, and didn’t want any thing to do with him. Now things are slowly getting better, he lets me make his fashion decisions, (because he can’t.) and we are slowly learning to respect each other. It’ll take time, but we’ll eventually get there.

Christine

This girls’ got a voice! She is my fellow opera singer, but she’s been singing for nine years, against my two. I love her to death, but there are sometimes when she tends to go on about her problems. I want to help, but she is more helped if you listen to her, rather than give her guidance. She is also very shy, but (with a little of my help,) she is slowly starting to come out of her shell. I have given her a complete makeover lately, and people marvel that she’s only Twenty-two, when they used to think she was Thirty. Much to her dislike and amazement she gets carded for pretty much everything now. I really believe that with a little encouragement she can really become, a confident person. Until then I’ll just keep listening!

Eliza

The most talkative and bubbly person you will probably ever encounter. Even though she can seem intimidating because she’s smart and pretty, she will always go out of the way to introduce herself to the least socially inclined. She is the friend you chose to shop with. Not only does she adore fashion, but only she know what season you are and what colors you look good in. (I think I’m a Spring……and that I should stay away form mauve….I think……) Anyway, she’s not quite a brave a she leads on. And when it comes to guys, let me just say I’m glad we have the same mobile carrier. She can talk for hours and I love listening to her reason and excuses and she solves her own problems. I know I’m only the soundboard for her thoughts, but hey, that’s fine with me.

Complete

Compatibility and Incentive. Two things we (I) desire most in a friend. Compatibility, so that you actually can relate and enjoy the same things. And incentive, where a person knows when the time is wrong for a joke, and when it’s time for a much needed hug. This, sadly is almost impossible to find in a friend. Usually they are just a tad shy of our expectations. And as much as we love and accept them, we truly desire those qualities. It seems as though once in a lifetime we will stumble upon these friends. And even when we have them, a tiny part of us is afraid that we don’t quite measure up to their expectations. That we are the friends that they love and accept , but really want more from. I consider myself to be among the lucky few, who possess that rare jewel of a friend. She is my other half, my mind, and best friend. Occasionally, I wonder if she will ever tire of me, but when she tells me how she feels whole again when we are together, all my worries are carried away. A friend like this, will see things in yourself that you could never see. Like how good you have it, and the talent you think you don’t possess. Whether these friendships take time and effort to develop, or are created the instant the individuals meet, I know that I would never be able to live without my other half. So here’s to the jewels in our lives, the ones who give us more than they will truly ever know.

Strawberries and Cream Frappuccinos

So while I am spending the weekend at Sock's house, we both came upon the same realization. That the gangsters (at least where we live) only order Strawberries and Cream Frappuccinos. They walk into Starbucks, saunter up to the counter where the poor little barista timidly ask what she can get started for them. They proceed to give the illusion that they actually looking at the menu to make a decision. Then finally the mutter; "I'll have a Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino." The barista is no longer intimidated as she pulls out a cup and with deliberated sarcasm, writes the drink code on the cup. Even the baristas making the coffee and unaware of the fooffy gangsters existence , suppress giggles as the gangster comes to claim his frappuccion. As he walks out of the store his frappuccino in hand, one can't help wondering; "If your really wanted to keep the whole 'I'm tough' thing believable, why wouldn't you just order straight espresso?"

A Place of My Own

This space, is my way out of life's mundane and frankly irritating situations. I sometimes wish that life was a easy as "I" want it to be. Don't you ever wonder what your life might have been like if you were born, say, in a different era? I know that it really doesn't help to dream that way, but when the world start spinning to fast, my thoughts are always where things might have been.

Incixwde (Thank you Socks.)

Thank you Socks, I would love to have had a really clever first blog... but no. Socks is hungry, and heavily hinting that we should go get a bite to eat. (That probably means that I will be driving, and paying most likely.) That's apparently what cousins are for, at least that's what she keeps telling me. Farewell, I must go.