You ever feel like you're just stuck at the edge of a precipice? And all you need to do is jump and your life can start new? But you can't. You can't jump. You don't know what's holding you back. You think it's fear, or change, fear of change? Who the fuck knows. It's something, and it's killing you. Slowly. Deliberately. And you just keep letting it. Because you're so used to pain and stagnancy that you don't know how to life a life full of adventure and joy.How do you make that change? Can you even make that change at this stage?
I don't know. I don't know so much, and yet I yearn to be full of the answers. TO put everything in a neat little box. To understand why. It's the ADHD, it's the Autism, it's the trauma.
And it's got a hold on me in a way that makes me so unhappy.
So I made a promise, and sure, I've made those before. But I feel like this time may be different.
A new life, a new career, a new purpose.
(I feel like I'll look back and find I'm still in the same space. But maybe, just maybe, I'll be out of this mess.)
P.S.
Sorry it's been so long.
~ Eva
