When it comes down to it, sex is just human interaction. Women are programmed to believe that sex means something, that is emotional, and that has a deeper meaning than just an orgasm. Men are programed to believe that it's something to be good at, that it doesn't mean anything, and that it's really just for fun. In my generation, sex is become so much more of an open thing to talk about, so much more than open thing to discuss with friends and family and sadly, even parents. There's one particular point that I would like to address. I was told by my mother, (well she's my aunt but has been more of a mother to me to my mother ever was. ) that because I had received sexually implicit text messages from a guy that he was not capable of a lasting, loving and functional relationship. This, I call bullshit on. Who decides that because you send naked pictures or because you send dirty text messages, that the person on the receiving end isn't fit to be in a relationship? Who says that those feelings and those wants and desires aren't actually genuine? Is it the media that tells us that sex is just a thing we do, and that romance is dead? Is it our parents who are from an older generation where that sort of thing isn't something you just do? Or is it our friends who wish they had the same opportunities, but judge us because they believe they're of higher standards? I don't know. What I do know is that in my last relationship, I tried so hard to have the sexual upper hand. I tried everything. I tried booty calls, I tried topless pictures, I tried sexting. Nothing seemed to work for me. I'm good at sex, but not at getting my partner to come over and actually participate in it. That is until now. I guess I began to realize in a new relationship, with somebody who was actually interested in me, I did indeed have the sexual upper hand. But this time, so did he. I've never been one to be turned on by words. Reading erotica never worked for me. But I would get text messages with him explicitly explaining what he wanted to do to me when he got me alone, and let's just say, I was definitely feeling it. I sent him pictures that I would have never sent anyone else, and didn't think I would ever send in general. The general idea for my friends with that he was just the one sending pictures, but I was the one who was initiating everything. He was in another state on a business trip, and we had phone sex. After this I took a step back, I had never met this guy, we had video chatted, we had texted and we had talked on the phone for endless hours. And I had let him tell me things that I didn't even believe. But while my ex had told me I was the best he'd ever been with, this was the new found power I could get used to. Confidence. Sexual confidence. Not in a slutty way. I didn't feel like a slut. I never have felt like a slut. And then came the day when I met him and while I was initially nervous, I felt that because I had confidence given to me that I was unstoppable. We went out on a date. And I basically just made out with him in his car. But a few days later, he cut work early, and came over to my place. Don't have to tell you what happened from there. And now we're in a long distance relationship. I still send pictures. He still loses focus. It works. No worries. All because I have the knowledge that sex over text, isn't going to ruin a relationship.
