How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?

So…………… here’s what’s going on. Socks parents are getting divorced. This not only shatters and trust that Socks “Might” have ever had for marriage, (I say might because she was never that sold on it any way.), but it has also changed my outlook on love and marriage as well. I love someone. He doesn’t know that I love him, and for now it’s best that way. My Aunt and Uncle were in love, my Uncle loves my Aunt more than his own life. (By the way, she is leaving him.) That love at one time reciprocated, is now a pained commitment and adoration. Marriage is not absolute, there are no guarantees. How can a license and a ring mean so much to some, and to others so little? What holds someone to that promise; “Until death, do us part.”? I believe that my Uncle’s love for my Aunt will always remain. For he has been there for her. Every step of their life together. My Aunt, I hope will someday realize what a wonderful man she once had. Me…. I don’t know if my heart would be able to survive had its love been rejected. I know, I know, I’m depressing. But I just hope Socks and I both find a relationship worth staying in. No, I mean, I hope this divorce hasn’t shattered all hopes, of a truly fantastic relationship. No I….. I just don’t know how you could survive if your life left you.

Horizons

Change. We think we will be fine when it arrives. When it’s here we tell ourselves that it’s a good thing. Then one day we snap and we lose it, because we finally realize things will no longer be the same. Sometimes, we morn the familiar, and despise the new. Other times, we rejoice in the change. I wonder though, what about the times when we could care less? A new horizon approaches, and we barely notice it. Does that mean we have accepted that change happens? Or does it mean that we have lost interest in the adventure of life?

Hitting The Books

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! College starts back up again in less than a month. I know, I know, all you highschoolers out there are like; “Hello? We start in less than a week!” Fine! Still though, I am not really looking forward to it. Well actually that’s not entirely true. A very small, and insignificant part of me is kind of excited to be going back to school. I get to be with my friends again and make some new ones. Maybe. I think I’ll be o.k., well regardless of whether I want to be or not, I’ll be o.k. (I desperately hope.)

... And They Lived Happily Ever After

I have watched so many movies lately with a happy ending that I have begun to wonder; will that "happy ever after" be mine? I want to believe it with every fiber of my being, but some small part of me doubts it will ever happen to me. I hear of it and see it happen to others. I know that you can make your own "happy ever after", but does that mean you’re forcing it? I don’t really know, I just hope that I don't force a happy ending, and always wonder if it really is.

Scream

I am currently in a bad mood. Everyone I know is either walking all over me, or just flat out ignoring me. What is going on? I think I need a vacation. I started working the day after I got out of school, and haven't had one measly little break. I am still doing some math to keep me fresh for school, I have college auditions in January, and I have relationship problems up to the roof. I need a place to be alone, but that is impossible to find in my life. I am so tired, I just need to unwind.

Home?

So I have been contemplating moving out of my parents house. I would be moving in with Socks and her rents. I am just sick of being at home. Granted, I really don’t have many reasons to move out. Well besides the no trust, and too much trust thing, and the guilt trips and overprotecting, I really don’t have a "just" reason. I would totally love to spend my last year before going to college with Socks. I already spend every weekend with her, and my mother is getting a little jealous. (I think.) Sheesh! What to do, what to do!?! In the famous words of Socks; “IDK?”

Stupidity

I'm done. I thought I could make the relationship work, but my better judgment has decided against it. Well I have decided against it. There are many reasons why I guess, he's a jerk, five years older, and the biggest reason; I'm still stuck on someone else. I still find myself flirting, and I'm really trying to stop......... actually no, I still like the flirting, but the whole thing is done. God, I'm so effing stupid.

Almost Decided

I apologize for my absence. I know that it’s been over a week, but I haven’t even got my head on straight as I promised. Well here’s what’s new; I have decided that I do like someone. And though I still don’t know whether it’s because he finally broke down my guard, or because I got to know him, I don’t even care anymore. I promise that I will explain more as the whole thing unfolds. Just know for now that I am slightly head over heels.