Ties

So here I am. Sitting on a bus to Seattle, to have a 'friend' day with the latest conquest. Because that's what friends do right? The trek to see the other person. Perhaps this person makes them feel less depressed about their life right now. Or less depressed that their not at ECCC. (I don't want to talk about it.) But fine. I admit I still like being around him. I feel that he's on my level intellectually. That's a rarity for me. All the guys I've dated were smart in their own way....I guess. Oh, also on the topic of ex's...I found a new photo of mine. The one who mercilessly ripped out my heart and took it with him to Colorado. Him. I really have moved on. He was my first in a lot of areas. And I guess.....I did at the time, want him to be my last. Life is rarely that kind to me. He left me. Physically I was alone, Mentally however, he left me with a bunch of new problems and emotions to sort through. I didn't though. I rebounded to someone new, placed all the feelings I had on this new guy so that I didn't have to deal with how alone and rejected I felt. When the rebound went south, as they most often do, I was forced to deal with all those problems and issues I'd been refusing to acknowledge. It was difficult. It was painful. It was lonely. Yet, I did it. I've had conversations with him since, internet conversations, I honestly don't know how I'd react if I actually heard his voice again. Anyway, when I see photos of him come up on social media I no longer feel that pang of hurt and betrayal. Now I just feel, I feel, I....feel...like I miss him. Not in a creepy way, but in the way you might miss an old childhood friend. He and I did have some good times together. I digress. I'm better now than I was before. Maybe because I see new things 'could' possibly happen with the latest conquest. Or not, I know at the very minimum, I've at least gained a new friend.