He's new. He's exciting. He likes me. He wants to be with me. He thinks I'm intelligent. I told him, I didn't know if he was going to be worth it. I told myself, this time that I would fall and have no regrets. And I want too, I really, really, really, really, really do. And I told my Kindred spirit, that I can see it, like it is if it's a waterfall, and I'm standing in the river about to fall off this cliff, and I'm about four feet from the edge, and I know that I could jump and I could fall, and it would be everything I wanted it to be. I also don't know if it's worth it, and I want it to be so badly. I feel as though my intense need for certainty is holding me back. For how do we know happiness without pain? How do we know what love is without loss? I'm not saying that I love him, I'm saying that I could. And I could do it quickly and I could fall hard I could be a hot mess. I also know that he's going through is that I don't understand. And I want to be there for him and I want to be a part of his life, but I don't know how to broach that subject. I want him so badly, and I want him to want me as much as I want him. I'm just on certain and I want him to talk to me. I miss him talking to me. I miss his voice, and I miss him. Why do I always miss the ones that never I know how much I need them to miss me?
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